This is an eBook in PDF form. Once you purchase you’ll be sent a link to your email to download the book.
The Blueprint for Kickstarting your Wife’s Sexual Journey
Do you want an adventurous sex life with your wife?
I was once in your position. My wife had a low libido and very little interest in sex. I tried everything, and read every book and blog about how to kickstart my wife’s interest in sex. I spent years figuring how to do just that. Through a ton of work, and a life-changing approach I found through reading scientific research, I can say that I found the key to unlocking that sexual interest.
This book is written like the phases of a building project. You need to make sure the footings are poured correctly before the foundation, and the foundation before the framing. Each step builds on the one before and gives you an action plan for working through this with your wife.
Yes! You can have all of the sexy fun you want and it’ll be with your sex-goddess of a wife!
with this book, you get:
- 66 Pages
- No fluff, just clear steps with descriptions to make them easy to grasp.
- 6 Phases
- Just like constructing a building. Each phase builds on the next.
- 5 Exercises
- This book is actionable, not just a filler with a nugget here and there. Do the work, reap the rewards.
- 10 Years…
- Of experience and testing condensed into a single book. I would have paid $500 for this 10 years ago.
- Updated Resources
- A constantly updated resource list referenced in every chapter of the book. These are the best products and links that
start reading REVIVE THE BEDROOM
Below are the first pages of the book. As soon as you purchase, the full book will be sent to your email!
The idea to write this blueprint has been knocking around in my head for a couple of years. At one point I said to myself, if I ever figure this out I’m going to write a resource to help others who are in this same situation. I’m a man in my late 30s who is in a long-term marriage. I have a high libido, and my wife has (well… had) a low one. To be honest, sex in the dating phase was touch and go for us. I know, I know. All the advice says that if you’re not sexually compatible while dating, you won’t be in marriage. And while I agree with that sentiment, I loved my wife dearly. She and I fit our lives together in so many beautiful ways that leaving her over our less than perfect sex life was not an option for me. And we had one thing going for us, our communication skills. This gave me the confidence that we’d be able to work hard together and figure it out. It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight, but I can say that through covid lockdowns, sickness, pregnancy, birth and raising two kids, our sex life has flourished and is better than it has ever been. I’m satisfied and she’s embarking on a sexual exploration that I’d always hoped for her.
I wrote this as a blueprint with phases, just like any true building project. I find this is easier for me to organize and think about things. Each phase is necessary for the next, and if you skimp on one phase, it’s going to have detrimental effects on the latter phases. If the footings aren’t poured correctly, the foundation won’t be right. And if the foundation isn’t right, the integrity of the framing will be compromised. And on down the line. We don’t want any issues showing up later down the line, so I highly recommend you spend time on each phase. Understand how it relates to the others and make sure to put in the work to do it right.
In this book I’m going to use the word “wife” to refer to your partner. That partner could be a girlfriend, fiance, and from either gender. It doesn’t really matter, but frankly I don’t feel like writing “partner” every time. My experience is with my wife, and that is the perspective I’m writing this from.
The purpose of this resource is to give you actionable ways to increase your wife’s interest in sex. We men are typically analytical people who want a clear set of instructions from which to work. The steps are broken down into phases. Follow these step by step, giving each time without trying to rush the process, and there’s a very good chance you will see an increase in your wife’s libido, a genuine interest in sex, and consequently a net positive impact on your sex life.
I want to take a look at two extremes. Couple A consists of a high libido man and a low libido woman. He is frustrated that his partner doesn’t want to have sex, and she is annoyed at his remarks and advances. They don’t have conversations about their sex life, or at best they fight about it and resort to petty remarks regarding each others’ level of desire. If they ever do have sex it’s under strict circumstances dictated by the woman, and frankly neither enjoy it that much. This inevitably leads to a relationship where sex is completely off the table. The wife is no longer interested in sex with or without her husband involved. She just couldn’t care less and it rarely, if ever, crosses her mind. The husband feels hopeless about the situation and would love to see his wife show some level of sexuality in nearly any way just to know that there is still hope.
Couple B is made up of two high libido partners who both love sex. They fuck like crazy and are always up for a good time. They see sex as a fun part of life that can be explored and value the pleasure it brings both individually and as a couple. There is plenty of experimentation, and while both partners are highly respectful of the other’s boundaries, they’re always willing to talk about fantasies and love seeing their partner turned on. Sure, sometimes life gets in the way and there are weeks where no sex happens, but generally it flows as the relationship does, like a good conversation over a lovely meal.
These are extremes, and while one certainly sounds ideal, the reality of life is that relationships and sexual desire are complicated and we are probably going to exist somewhere in the middle. But let’s figure out how to get closer to Couple B than to Couple A (much closer!). In this manual, we’ll go over the methods and tricks I’ve learned on my journey. I know it has worked for me, and I know that it can work or at least make a large impact on your sex life, and your wife’s sexual expression as well.
Now on to you the reader. I don’t know you, but I have been in a position in which I would have paid handsomely for this book. I have read countless stories and talked to so many men who feel worthless, unloved, unappreciated, unmanly, ugly, and all the other bad things you can think of because of a lack of sexual desire from their partner. That lack of physical intimacy can feel like you’re stuck in space, floating slowly farther and farther into the coldness. The rejection, the distance, and the lack of touch can be devastating.
And of course it’s not just the rejection and intimacy. That is how we typically frame it for our partners because we think that might help them empathize with our plight. As humans, we crave sexual connection and physical pleasure,and there is nothing wrong with being aware of and seeking this pleasure.
And if you’re reading this thinking, why the hell are you rubbing it in? Well, because we shouldn’t have to feel this way, no one should, and it’s up to us to fix it. Is that particularly fair? No it isn’t. It sucks that you’re in this position. It sucks that your self worth and confidence are vulnerable to another person, especially someone who is so close and loves you. It sucks that your sex life is controlled and stifled by your partner. Is it fair? No. It isn’t fair at all. But we only get one life and I know I’m going to work like hell to make it count.
No, I don’t know you, but I’m pretty confident that if you’re reading this, you’ve spent a ton of time reading about sex and relationships. You’ve probably listened to podcasts and watched YouTube videos about it. You’ve done all the things that all the blogs say to do. Take on extra chores around the house, relieve the stressors on your partner, buy her flowers, get her favorite takeout, rub her feet, etc. etc. And what happens? Not only does it not work to help relieve pressure and increase sex drive, it does the opposite. It increases pressure and she often feels like you’re trying to trick her into sex. Those are great things to do as a good husband and partner, but not as steps toward improving your sex life.
I mentioned this in the first paragraph and I want to reiterate. Sex can be a tricky and emotional subject. For both men and women, negative associations with sex can create significant walls that have been built as a protection mechanism. Some of these are not things that should be approached in a DIY sort of manner. You know your partner, and though you may not know all of their history, thoughts, and feelings around sex, you should have a general sense if there is shame, guilt, or trauma that needs to be evaluated by a licensed and experienced therapist or professional. Yes, we want to transform our wives into sex loving people, but it is so important to know when to be gentle and understanding. There are absolutely times to prioritize your needs, but there are also times when your partner needs your support. And as a loving and dedicated partner we show up in these moments.
There are a couple things you’ll read in here that are not totally original and you’ve probably heard before, but just in case some of the readership isn’t as well read on the topic, these things have to be said. In this book, I have done my best to give you tangible steps that you can take to have the best sex with the partner you love. It will take a lot of effort, and it won’t be fixed overnight. But you know that already. Now let’s get to work.